Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
