New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize