Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
