O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
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