she was so not down for the gang bang
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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