question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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