He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
