i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
you made out with another girl for some wings
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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