hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
