i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
