it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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