My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
