no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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