dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
