no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
