Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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