I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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