I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
