if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
