Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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