I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
