alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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