New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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