hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
