Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
