Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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