If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize
