That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
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