my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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