i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i barfeds in our rink
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
