This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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