the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
