Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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