We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
