I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
