I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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