is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
