so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
