a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
