accomplished twins. life is a go
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
