So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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