It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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