hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize