cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
stop calling my apartment porn island.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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