Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
