She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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