There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
