why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
it glows. i had to have it.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
