New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
