I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
