I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
