I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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