I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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