Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
