It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
