Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
