Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
