You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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