2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
