New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
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