Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
