these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
