he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
