Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
