That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize