Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize