Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm like, not good at living.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
