is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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